America has selected the presumptive king and queen of the 2016 American Prom. If you’re one of the wallflowers still standing about waiting for Mr. (or Ms) right to sweep you off your feet, it’s time get down and Dirty. For those who want to avoid the heartache of broken promises and sellouts, there’s now an interesting choice stepping up: Frances Houseman. Loyal. Idealistic. Resourceful. Strong. Trustworthy. She won’t budge on the issues but, oh, can she move on the dance floor! No spaghetti arms here. While other candidates are planted to the stage making speeches, Ms. Houseman is leaping right off of it, ready to Do The Lift for a country that desperately needs a leg up. Ms. Houseman has a generation of loyal supporters and has long since chosen a most capable dancing running partner. Like in 1963. Mr. Johnny Castle.

The Houseman/Castle ticket is a winner. Their first brilliant choice: tapping the artists of Gee and Haw for their campaign branding. Opting to go for a nowtro (Thank you, Mighty Wind) approach rather than ‘vintage Catskills’, the look is clean, modern and anything but Pachenga.

Baby and Johnny, as they’re known to their most loyal supporters, invite you to join hands, hearts and voices for a better America and a better world. Let’s Do The Lift, America.